i've been bitten by an enemy that's pretended to be my friend
I’d actually be much more hesitant to ask my dad for $20 if he was made of money.
|teacher:||you can't bullshit this essay|
|me (under my breath):||if you're an ameteur|
'oh gross it's dark chocolate i hate dark chocolate'
give it to me
When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.
Chris Pratt and Dylan Prunty Recite Lines from “The LEGO Movie”
*me at starbucks*
starbucks worker: what size do you want?
me: ariana grande